It’s a friend I’ve known since highschool. He doesn’t care.
Well DUH, of course he doesn’t care…
I hate removing my bra.
My boobs tend to go with it.
His wife’s doesn’t care either!
Um…now I feel weird haha
Well DUH, of course she doesn’t care…
Everyone likes pointy nipples…
Except when they point at your toes haha
Sorta depends on what position you’re both in, I’d say.
Yo Keeper, the proper response to “My nipples are cold” isn’t “Put them in your mouth!”
It should be, put them in “my” mouth…LOL
hahahah, it was a knee jerk reaction
I just overheard an argument between my kids on whether “y’ain’t” is a word or not. Apparently, it’s what you get when you mix “y’all” with “ain’t”. Hahaha!
Works for me. In fact, I have used it…LOLOL Tell them I said, in Texas, it is a word…
To my knowledge "y’ain’t ain’t a word.
But I have to admit, I use it quite often.
Ex:…“Y’ain’t” putting that in your mouth, are YOU?
OR…You might get away with that shit at your dad’s but “y’ain’t” getting away with it here.
My 2 month old niece filled her diaper while sitting on my tummy. I said to her, “You pooped on my tummy! I wish I could say you were the first one to do that!”
My sister starts reaming me out, “That’s seriously disgusting! Why would say say something so sickening to my child!”
I replied, “Um, I meant my kids did it too…”
“Well, you’re such a pervert that I thought you meant something else!”
That should be wake up call for you straighten up and fly right, God damn it…
Okay here goes…not sure if this is funny because it’s true…or just sad…
A couple weeks ago a college girlfriend and teammate of mine was in town and on her last night in town we had dinner together here at the house. I cooked, we ate, bullshitted, and caught up a little. We also drank way too much wine. So after dinner we retired to the living room to watch a movie (How to be Single) and in case you haven’t seen it, it’s sort of a shitty chick flick starting Dakota Johnson and Rebel Wilson. We also opened and killed another bottle of wine.
After the film was over my friend who was never one to mince words, turns to me and says “You know…that kind of obnoxious chick,…
Rebel Wilson,…stole your entire act. That used to be the YOU I knew and loved in college. WTF, happened to you, where did you go? You’re such a wet blanket now.” I was struck dumb…I didn’t know what to say…I then started to laugh uncontrollably because I knew it was true…I am a frickin “wet blanket”…just ask my kids. Somewhere along the line I turned into my fucken MOM only with a fouler mouth…
As I said, I’m not sure if this is funny or just plain sad…but it is true…